Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...

As my kids get older and start applying for universities I find it fascinating that their High School has to send transcripts of their courses and grades etc to each university they apply to.

When I left High School back in Wales, universities seemed to simply believe that we'd been to High School. They just placed demands for certain A' Level results in order to guarantee a coveted place - grades like three A's, or two E's and every combination in between. I had no idea what a transcript was.

I blissfully spent three years at college totally unaware that transcripts existed. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree (I have the certificate to prove it) in Education and even taught music in an inner city school in Portsmouth (the less said about that experience the better for all concerned).

Years passed and I never knew that my life was lacking, that something very crucial was missing, I enjoyed myself. I got married, had children, moved to the States, sent the kids to school, decided to return to teaching..... and that's when this void in my life reared its ugly head.

About seven years ago, as I just mentioned, I decided to return to teaching. I felt quite proud of myself, I had done a little bit of research and found out that I would need to sit an exam to get a teaching certificate in the State of Illinois. No problem. To apply for the exam, you had to show proof of possession of a Bachelor's degree. No problem. But my degree was from UK not US...

When that happens, so I was told, all you simply need to do is send your transcripts (what?) to the World Education Service, and they (for a large fee) will produce a course by course comparison and let you know exactly what the equivalent of your degree is in the US. OK. No problem. All you have to do is contact your college/university and request your transcripts (there it was again).

Mmmm, slight problem... Many years' ago I went to Hertfordshire College of Higher Education, (a teacher training college which was promoted to a college of higher education) which, a number of years after my departure, became the education department for Hatfield Polytechnic which, after a number of years, became the University of Hertfordshire. Oh well, I called the University of Hertfordshire. Transcripts? they asked. Yes, I replied. No problem, they said. When did you graduate? 1982 ... pregnant pause... oh, they say... we don't have them. You don't have them? We destroy records over 12 years old - university confidentiality policy, you see.

Uh oh!

Was this common practice, I wondered. I emailed some governmental education department or something like that and asked what the policy of keeping records was. They didn't have one. Each education establishment makes its own policy. Oh, well, that was helpful!

Did the University of Hertfordshire have any proof I attended? I asked. Er, no, but we can write a very nice letter explaining about this, if it would help. Well, ...

So I have a very nice letter.

Next step... oh yes, this is a long procedure, you may want to read this in seperate sittings...

Let me explain about little teacher training colleges. In the olden days, even before I attended one, they used to award their own Certificate of Education which was what was required by anyone wanting to be a teacher. Then, for some reason, the powers that be decided that teachers needed to be awarded degrees - but colleges couldn't give those out, universities had to, and, in case you didn't notice, the colleges weren't universities. So the Council of National Academic Awards was set up by Government Charter (doesn't that sound archaic?) as a national academic body that could award degrees and other educational qualifications. My degree was awarded by said Council of National Academic Awards (CNAA).

Back to my story. I decided to contact the CNAA to see if they had any records of my existence. So, I looked them up and... the CNAA no longer exists. It was abolished by the 1992 UK Further and Higher Education Act.

Well, that's helpful.

Anyway, somehow I did find out that all records from the CNAA were now being looked after very carefully by the Open University Validation Services in Milton Keynes. Which is very nice of them, really.

So I called the Open University Validation Services in Milton Keynes and spoke to a very nice lady, who miraculously found out that not only did I exist, but I had been awarded a degree (phew) and they would send me a very nice letter to explain this.

Well, that's very helpful.

I ended up with a letter from the University of Hertfordshire (no records here) and a letter from the Open University Validation Services in Milton Keynes (Alison not only exists, but she has a degree). I sent this information to the World Education Service. Because of my lack of transcripts (did you realise I have no transcripts? can you tell to look at me?) they could only tell me that the US equivalent of my UK Bachelor's degree was a ... wait for it... a Bachelor's degree.

Well, that's helpful.

Unfortunately the Illinois State Board of Education wasn't convinced by my tale of woe, and I gave up hope of returning to the classroom.

And, why am I telling you all this?

I want to do a Master's degree at Fuller Seminary and, guess what, they want transcripts of my Bachelor's degree. Please don't laugh (too loudly)

I spoke to a very nice man at the admissions office yesterday. I told him my situation, you know, I don't have any transcripts. I explained as fully as I could why I have no transcripts. But I think, like most Americans, he stopped listening with the 'no transcript' line. I mean, no one has no transcripts.

I asked him what I should do, and he replied "you've got a lot of explaining to do" yes, I thought, like it's my fault.

Well, that was helpful.

So, here I am, contacting the World Education Service to send their information, originals only please, at a cost of $52, directly to the nice man at Fuller admissions office. I sent a pleading email to the lady at the University of Hertfordshire who sent that very nice letter explaining the issue of no records, to ask if she'd send another very nice letter, original only please, to the nice man at Fuller, and when I get up early enough, I'm going to call the Open University Validation Services in Milton Keynes and ask them to send a very nice letter (at the cost of 6 pounds), original only please, to the nice man at Fuller.

For some reason, I have a very strong feeling of deja vu...